|
|
Getting Over Fears: Lowering The Gradient So As To Meet Up With Girls And Relate To Girls
Last week one of my close friends asked a question that i thought was worth discussing. He inquired about how to overcome fears that pop up sometimes - even when things are going great.
The truth is it's not at all an easy question to answer considering that it varies from person to person. There are literally entire books which have been written on that subject only. However, one of the best techniques I have used to overcome my fears usually involves lowering the gradient.
Exactly what are gradients? Gradients are like steps on a ladder. If you try to go to the top of the ladder on your first step, it will be impossible and you will not succeed. If you keep trying it over and over you may start building up a "complex" about failing, and soon stop trying anymore.
If you try to jump up five or six steps on your first try, it will also be scary - not really impossible but scary. Probability is that if you have no experiences leaping that high you will fail too.
The proper approach is to take the initial step and then advance one-step at a time. It is the most comfortable way to climb a ladder.
Here are some examples of how I apply that to overcome fears which pop up in meeting women and dating women:
As most guys do, I often go out to meet women in a social setting. Sometimes it is especially scary. Therefore when I am approaching a beautiful woman in a social setting, rather than telling her how gorgeous she is and how much I am attracted to her (that exposes my fear of being shot down in front of a lot of people and embarrassed) I lower the gradient of approach and simply say "Hi." If a girl likes you or has an interest in you she will find a way to continue the conversation. If she doesn't then i know she has no interest in me and the simple "Hi" just appears that I am friendly - not necessarily even flirting - thus I don't feel shot down in front of other people.
If I am starting to date a girl and I am afraid of taking the next step of trying to get intimate with her, I don't ask her "Do you want to get intimate?" I take a lower gradient and ask her if she wants to relax, get cozy, and just watch a movie at my house. If she doesn't want to get intimate she surely won't want to be alone with me, getting cozy at my home. Or instead of trying to suddenly "kiss her", I will simply hold her hand or give her light touches every now and again to see how responsive she is to my touch. If she likes my touch she will begin touching me back to give me the go ahead signal.
These are a few examples. When you feel uneasy and scared just try to think of a lower gradient that isn't as scary and lets you make forward progress toward your goal. If you do this you will know how to meet women and how to relate to them in a short time.
Are You Hesitant To Talk Or Meet Ladies?
Whenever you feel uncomfortable in any situation, it means that you are approaching this situation on too high a gradient. Rather than running away from the situation, lower the gradient.
Interacting With A Lady For The Very First Time: Are You In Love With Someone?
How to find out if a woman is in a relationship when you first meet a woman without awkwardly asking her right off the bat - and how to smoothly ask if she is in a relationship.
Ways To Attract Women - Unclear Responses And Flirting
How to successfully handle a woman who is sending confusing flirtations - and how to spot a woman who is flirting just for fun.
Learn How To Get Back With Your Ex Girlfriend Or Boyfriend - When It Looks Impossible
Are you wondering how to get back with your ex partner? There are many steps you can take with the most important one being to ask yourself are you sure this is what you want.
Some Techniques To Surviving A Breakup
Whether your goal is to mend a broken heart, win an ex back and get back together, or to simply move on with your life, you can be sure that others have traveled the same path.
Online Dating: Nice Ladies Try It, Too!
Online dating has gone mainstream and has lost all the social stigma it once suffered. Single people of all ages, races, religions and both sexes do it.
Helpful Online Dating Things To Do For Guys
Heads up, gents. Online dating can open up new doors of opportunities with a little help from real world dating tips that work. Spice up your matchmaking with some of these ideas.
For Girls: Mr. Perfect Does Not Exist!
The sooner you realize this sad but true fact, the sooner you can get on with finding Mr. Close-Enough-To-Perfect. You ARE going to have to actively seek the man of your dreams and you won't find him hiding under your bed.
Five Tricks For Getting Back With Your Ex-Lover Without Throwing Away Your Self-Esteem
Think you don't stand much chance of getting your ex girlfriend back without begging or apologizing for things you didn't even do? If so, you've fallen into the same trap I did after my girlfriend walked out.
What You Can Publish In Your Personalized Totally Free Dating Ads
Totally free dating profiles will give you an idea of a dating prospect before you make any moves. You can see their appearance, how old they are, what their occupation is, and what their hobbies and interests are.
How To Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back Even Though She Doesn't Want To See You
There are plenty of tips online on how to get your ex girlfriend back, but most of them require her to at least be willing to answer the phone when you call her. What are you supposed to do if she won't even talk to you?
Who Said Executives Can't Find Dates
If you are an executive and are wary about joining an online dating site, but would like to enjoy the service, do you know that there are several executive dating sites that you can choose from online?
|
More Articles
Blogroll
|
